We’re not dangerous!

It’s been a rough week for me and I’m sure for many others with a mental illness. It’s not just because there have been more mass shootings and so close together, but also because as seems to be the usual, lots of people like to blame it on mental illness. The truth is we are all more likely to be the ones receiving the violence not committing it. Most of us can hardly get out of bed some days and even on at our worst we usually hurt no one but ourselves, in fact we are all trying to just survive our own brains. In my own situation, I spent most of the week just trying to not fall into a deep depression because it just hurts my heart to see all the pain and sadness. How does anyone get on with life when they’ve lost a loved one to such violence, how do they find the courage to even go into a public place again? I don’t know. I have survived losing people I love but not in such a horrible way, I just don’t know how they do it. So, for me, I can’t begin to understand our joint sadness that our country has come to this and I don’t have a solution, so I do everything possible to concentrate on the good. I turn off the news on T.V., the internet and any where else I can find, I fill my news feed with good hearted people who post heartwarming stories. I watch animal shows on T.V., old M.A.S.H episodes, game shows, anything which helps me remember the good in the world. All this work leaves me with fewer spoons on any given day so other things I need to get done either don’t get done or aren’t done to my best ability. Thankfully, my schoolwork wasn’t too demanding this week and the other stuff can wait for now. I made it through the week fairly well and I hope all of you have also. A weekend with Cameron always helps, he gets me in a way no one else has and knows how to help me save more spoons for the next week.

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